Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up (2024)

I wanted to love this book, I really did. As someone who is forty without the husband and children I’d always thought I’d have (and no real prospects on the horizon), I thought I’d finally found something I could relate to. There is nothing out there that’s I’ve found so far in literature for women like us and when I saw this book, I thought ‘about time!’ I thought I would laugh, cry and take comfort. But this book really triggered me.

It made me incredibly angry and I thought, presumptuously, that other women in my position must be hating it - that the author totally missed her target audience. But then I saw that a few women who reviewed this were childless and single in their forties and loved it. Jody Day has given it a really positive review (I have just ordered her book and found it very comforting), so I stand corrected.

I wonder if I am alone in my feelings on this book or whether there are other women out there who feel the same way as me?

First of all, to be fair to the author, she doesn’t go down the whole probably won’t have children, but might just save it at the last minute (!) and pop one out route. And you have to respect that.

But there are two main things I have a problem with in this book. The first is the main character’s grief. Now I know this is a humorous book, I totally get that. But humour and pain can co-exist quite nicely, especially in fiction. My gripe is the main character feels pain, but not quite enough. This is not to say that the pain of the childless can’t be overcome, not at all. All I’m
saying is that the pain of the childless is real. But Nell gets over her predicament so quickly that it makes you wonder whether it was ever really a problem to begin with.

As a childless, single woman, there are days when I’m fine and there are days when I feel like I can’t face the world and an ad on telly makes me cry. But when I try to explain this to my mum friends, they just don’t get it. My worry is that, having read this book, mums will say things like ‘just be positive!’ Or ‘just get out there!’ Or maybe, ‘you have to read this book’ when their childless friends to try to talk to them about their struggles. And perhaps those childless women just want to be heard. They just want someone to acknowledge their pain.

This is what we all want and this is what I try to do when my mum friends talk to me about their problems. I don’t give advice (what would I know about raising a child?), I don’t act as if it’s
not a big deal and I don’t say, ‘it’s just a question of perspective, just be positive!’ Because it’s not helpful.

The other main issue I have is with Nell. Now, I wrote something about the horrors of dating in your late thirties which I doubt will ever see the light of day. This was reviewed by an author who is married with children. (I didn’t see as a problem, surely she would see my point of view.) Well, her comments affected me for days. The main changes she suggested were to make my protagonist more likeable (she should use her time as a single woman to help her mum friends) and to make it a book that explores what is it to be a woman. This meant a closer look at two of the mum characters. Her feedback depressed me and it feels like someone has given the same advice to this author.

Whenever the reviews talk about the characters in the book, they mention Cricket. Cricket is full of life, eccentric and fun. Nell on the other hand is like a blank canvas, but she is kind, so kind and helpful, that no one could possibly find fault with her. She babysits her friends’ kids, she picks them up from school. She drops everything for her parent friends. Great. What do they ever do for her? Cricket is the only one who ever gives her any support. Her best friend treats her like total crap and there isn’t even an argument over it. It’s as if the book is pleading for society to accept this childless woman who can be a rock to the lives of others whilst expecting nothing in return. I don’t know anyone, parent or childless who wants to live their life like this.

The book tries to give a balanced view, it shows the plight of struggling mums. Fine. But when it became about women everywhere (we are all f*ck ups, we’re all in this together), I felt disappointed. I have read countless books about mothers - post natal depression, mums struggling to cope, mums struggling with society’s expectations to be perfect. Mums get brilliant TV series like ‘Motherland’ (which I’m considering watching for the 3rd time this lockdown). What do childless women get? This is the one book I’ve found which is supposed to be about women like me, only to find out that it isn’t.

It’s probably no surprise (if anyone’s still with me :)) that I found the ending disturbing and symbolic. Yes I know it’s supposed to be funny and tongue in cheek, but seriously?

As an Asian woman who’s suffered from anxiety for several years, I’ve experienced all kinds of prejudice throughout my life. But what affects me most these days, is society’s reaction to the childless. It seems to be the last taboo and this book only confirms this.

Actual Stars 4.5 Rounded Up

Told with laugh out loud humor and the perfect wit Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up is the perfect book for any woman (or man) whether young or old that feels like she isn’t enough or in the right place in her life.

Nell thought she’d had her whole life together and planned out, living in California and running a new a cafe-cum-bookshop with her fiancé Ethan. He is a fantastic chef who took care of the kitchen and Nell a previously successful book editor in charge of the bookshop. They were going to get married, have babies, and spend the rest of their lives together, until they weren’t. The cafe/book shop fell on hard times and Nell and Ethan couldn’t make forever come true.

Nell now back in London is starting her life from square one and first order of business is a place to live. Unfortunately rents had went up drastically since she was in America so Nell has to give up her dream of a quaint one bedroom apartment. Instead she find’s a room for rent with a married landlord named Edward. Edward stays in the city during the week and leaves for the weekend to stay with his family and Nell figures the 3 days of freedom make up for the never ending furnace, electricity and toilet paper roll wars. That and she gained an adorable dog named Arthur that she’s responsible for when her landlord is gone, that loves to chase squirrels.

Next up is a job. Nell being out of the book editing business for several years has to take a job at the bottom. Being desperate for a paycheck leads to her new occupation as an Obituary Writer. Seriously can things get any worse for Nell? All her friends have their lives together, married with children and/or terrific careers. And here she Is single, childless, renting a room from the crazy man who tries to leave NO carbon footprint by counting toilet paper squares etc., and she has a job writing about dead people!

Nell decides to pull herself up by her boot straps and do something to make her situation bearable. She sets out by writing 5 things she’s grateful for (well just one for now, she’ll have to work her way up to 5). She also decides to start an anonymous podcast and talk about what it’s like to start over at forty something and not have her life be where she thought it would be at this stage in her life. It’s also the perfect place to vent on how she hates her oldest friends seemingly new bestie.

But the most unexpected surprise is when Nell strikes up a friendship with an eighty something year old widow whose husband she’s writing an obituary piece about. Cricket has the energy level and an adventurous streak of a woman much younger. As they increasingly spend time together Nell and Cricket help other heal through the struggles as they both move on in their new places in life.

Thoughts:

I loved this book in every way! The writing, the title, the characters. It’s engaging and fun! AP takes serious subjects and handles them with superb humor so not to feel heavy. Nell is the perfect character and who I want to be when I grow up! She took a negative and turned into a positive. And she did it with grace (sometimes at least) and comedy that cracked me up throughout the book.

I loved Nell and Cricket’s friendship! It was so refreshing to see 2 women with pretty large age gaps be able to help each other cope with their struggles and really enjoy spending time together. It gave me the perfect warm and fuzzies with a side of fun. So kuddos AP this was a brilliant story line!

I do have 2 issues with COAFFU which is why I deducted 1/2 a star.
One is the “relationship” with the hot dad/uncle. I felt there could have been more added to Nell & Johnny’s story and I was disappointed by the outcome. Nell handled it very mature which on one hand was great but I wanted it handled in the “Nell” way. It was just cut too short and tied in too neat a bow.
Same thing with Nell and Annabel’s feud. It was resolved instantly and I wanted it handled differently or a different outcome somehow. I guess I just felt like it was also done too neatly.

Even with the slight negatives this book was fantastic and I can see myself doing a reread one day. I originally picked it up because it had a title that resonated with me. I’m right around Nell’s age and honestly I sometimes feel like I’m battling life while others around me are smooth sailing along. If anyone else feels like this (or just looking for a few good laughs) I highly suggest COAFSFU because it gives you a new outlook on things with laughter, connection and stellar writing as a soothing balm.

Ohhh guys, do you want to read a book that’s a TONIC for the times we are living in? Then you need to read Confessions of a Forty-Something F##k Up by Alexandra Potter because it sizzles with life. And made me laugh at least once a page.

Thanks to Pan Macmillan for giving me for giving me a copy of this book for review consideration. As always, no matter what the source of the book, you get my honest, unbiased opinion.

FIRST LINE OF CONFESSIONS OF A FORTY-SOMETHING F##K UP

“Hi, and welcome to Confessions of a Forty-Something F##kUp, the podcast for any woman who wonders how the hell she got here, and why life isn’t quite how she imagined it was going to be.”

MY THOUGHTS ON CONFESSIONS OF A FORTY-SOMETHING F##K UP

OK, first off I said it’s a laugh a page. It mostly is, but lurking in the humour are heart-rendering, lump in the throat moments too. Basically all human emotions beat loud and strong from this book.

And ohhh did I relate. I too am a Forty-Something F##K Up. As much as I wanted it all, I didn’t get to tick all the boxes of perfect marriage, gorgeous kids, and successful career that I lusted over as at Twenty-Something dreamer. OK, I got some, but like so many others I linger longer over those I didn’t get, than those I did.

Nell makes herself write a gratitude list to help her survive her life, and gradually her list goes from breathing to achievements that she is really proud of. But mostly she becomes proud of herself, f##k up's and all, which is so lovely not to mention empowering to watch.

I’M GRATEFUL FOR

- this book for making me belly laugh, snort and giggle my way through the pages
- the friendships that Nell has in her life, they flounder and flourish, and reminds me that friendship needs to worked at to keep alive
- the adventures that Nell has sharing a flat. It makes me glad that I don’t have to fight with a landlord about my house thermostat. Just my husband!
- the podcast theme within this book. So relevant, funny and inspiring.

In case you haven’t guessed I loved Nell and I loved this book.

WHO SHOULD READ CONFESSIONS OF A FORTY-SOMETHING F##K UP BY ALEXANDRA POTTER?

Listen if you need a laugh, then buy this book. If you are a Forty-Something F##K Up (or any decade F##K UP), then buy this book and discover you are not alone. Fans of Bridget Jone’s Diary or Sophie Kinsella’s Shopoholic series should also enjoy this one.

Another rewarding and light enjoyable offering. An excellent quality audio; it's always refreshing to pick up the book and look forward to the voice, as well as the story as it continues.

I had not heard of this author, and it was a 'stumble across' as I browsed an interstate catalogue (the perks of working in a library, and knowing where to look for the location of a book, Australia wide). BorrowBox is great!

A common theme, hashtag 'live your best life' hashtag 'gluten free brownies rock' etcetera etcetera (I take some poetic license there). Nell is fed up, she's failed at her business, failed at an engagement. Returning home to London after setting up a new life in The States, her life ended up far from swimmingly. In her forties and feeling like a failure and so far removed from all these bullocky and unrealistic bloody hashtags, she is childless and feeling more than less than. The one mantra repeated many times was being in her forties and childless. This may offend some! But it was humorous and she was a funny gal.

The childless slant was quite relentless in this story, but as all light reads it wasn't meant to be taken too harshly, and all sides ended up being explored.

Even though I knew from the start what may have been happening romance wise, it was still a satisfying read. Female friendships, the way some are domineering and will always show the 'my life is perfect', look at my Insta and look at my fancy wardrobe and stylised persona.

Nell was broke and house hunting, ending up renting in a shared situation with Edward, who rented in the city during the week, and went home to the suburbs to his family on the weekend. This suited Nell as he was stuffy and had too many rules, aka, one square of toilet paper per bathroom visit and a caveat not to touch the thermostat. Eeek! On the plus side to this was the lovely Arthur the dog, who Nell looked after. They became firm friends.

An editor, Nell secured a job with an old colleague crafting epilogues, and this is how she found a firm friend in Cricket, a newly widowed octogenarian. This was a wonderful friendship.

All in all a light read, nothing heavy was expected and all taken in the manner in which [I] expected. It was sweet and lovely.

Nell is at rock bottom, she has split up with her fiancé after their business went bust and has moved into a shared house with Edward, who has a long list of rules .. but on the positive side he won’t be home at the weekends!!

When Nell celebrates her 40th birthday it makes her realise this is not the life she had planned, friends around her are settled down with children and have new friends that enjoy play dates together.

Nell lands up writing obituaries, she meets Cricket an 80 year old widow and they soon make friends and become close. Together they help each other with adventures and laughs along the way!!

This book did make me laugh!! It made me realise life is not always perfect and you have to make the most of it!! It was nice to take my mind off the Corona Virus.

This should be a must read book for every woman.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for a review.

This book is in my top five books that I have read this year. It has everything, love, loss, friendship and enemies. You can’t help but love Nell and want her to have her happy ever after.
Laugh out loud funny in some places but also heart wrenching in others

Funny, witty and heart-warming. Yes, it glosses over certain issues, yes, it might be very 'middle class' in places but it's a good story with enough depth to have kept me engaged throughout. And I could relate to Nell quite a lot which is a credit to Potter writing her character really well. Really enjoyed it.

Highly unrealistic, hugely predictable, medium dose of clichés, mostly readable, with a few good lines, if you have the patience for the above. If it wasn't audio book, wouldn't stay for the ending.

This book, which I didn’t know I needed right now, was perfection.

Оказывается, Бриджет Джонс и Кейтлин Моран — это не муж и жена, а четыре разных человека. Если хоть один из них вам дорог, не читайте эту книгу.

Overall this is funny and heart-warming. I did like it even though there is a certain amount of cheese!

I did have some issues with the portrayal of childless women but it is comedy/light entertainment and I don't want to discuss my views here. If I could put those things aside it would be a 5 star read for pure entertainment (and a few emotional tears).

Well, as a forty something myself, I was quite curious about this book. At first I found the book funny and relatable, refreshing and even wise at times. But then it became too predictable and frankly quite boring too.

Who hasn't thought at some time that life just didn't turn out the way you imagined? I think we all do. This book looks at that very situation with a good deal of humor and some insight into finding happiness.

Description:
Meet Nell. Her life is a mess.

When her business goes bust and her fiancé with it, Nell's happy ever after in California falls apart and she moves back to London to start over. But a lot has changed since she’s been gone. All her single friends are now married with children, a sky-high real estate market forces her to rent a room in a stranger’s house, and everyone has seemingly perfect Instagram-ready lives. Starting from scratch she feels like a f**k up . . . a forty-something f**k up.

Landing a job writing obituaries, Nell meets the fabulous Cricket, an 80-something widow with challenges of her own. Together they begin to help each other heal their aching hearts, cope with the loss of the lives they had planned, and push each other into new adventures and joy. With Cricket’s help, Nell is determined to turn her life around. First, though, she has a confession . . .

Laugh-out-loud funny and painfully relatable, Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up is a celebration of friendship and a reminder that while life doesn’t always go according to plan, it doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness.

My Thoughts:

I picked the book up because, of course, the title caught my attention. Then when I read the blurb I just had to read it. I found Nell to be relatable and likeable. The friendship with 80+ Cricket was heart-warming and upbeat (I liked Cricket immediately). The story kept me engaged and it certainly wasn't boring. I loved the humor. The characters were well written and so was the plot. The book helps with viewing life as never perfect, but there is still happiness to be found.

Thanks to Harper Paperbacks through Netgalley for an advance copy. This book will be published on September 5, 2023.

Penelope or Nell as she prefers has moved back to the UK after breaking up with her American Fiancée. Nell is a forty something single woman without a job and accommodation unlike her friends who are all married and have kids and have their own houses. Her father lends her money and she looks for a shared accommodation and starts a job as an obituary writer to pay for bills.

When she goes to meet the widow of a recently deceased playwriter, she meets the eighty something widow, Catherine or she is knows lovingly as Cricket. Cricket turns out to be quite different from what Nell had imagined and they become friends. They both end up teaching each other a great many things.

Nell's housemate or landlord, Edward only stays at the house few days a week as he is married and has kids and visits them in the country over the weekends. He also owns a dog, Arthur who also becomes Nell's companion in a way as Nell spends a lot of time with Arthur and takes him on walks.

Nell's best friend, Fiona doesn't have time for her as she has a new friend of her own. Basically, any of Nell's friends don't have time for her unless they want her to babysit their kids and I felt for Nell.

I loved Nell and everything about her character. From feeling like a failure to her trying to fit in and find her place in her family and her friend's lives to her self-pity to her resilience and picking up the pieces and trying to get back on track rather a new track. She was so relatable in every which way. I was rooting for her all the way. I remember the plans that I had for my life ten years ago and not even one thing has happened as per that plan but my life took a completely different turn and I am still loving it. But this book definitely reminded me of the things that I had laid out and thought back to where I used to think I'd end up ten years later and then ended up laughing because now I can't even imagine going by that plan. Life is funny that way.

I also loved Cricket as she ended up helping Nell in so many ways and also Nell helped her as well. I absolutely loved their friendship and it shows that you can make new friends when you get older and also friends don't really have to be the same age.

I loved Edward and all his annoying nagging but I also knew where the story would go with him. I didn't like any of Nell's friends because they only wanted her when they needed something from her and Fiona wouldn't even listen to her until she finds out that her daughter Izzy is being bullied by Annabel's daughter. Yeah, they patched up and everything but it was unfair to Nell and I was mad on her behalf I guess because Nell forgave too quickly. Bits of this also reminded me of the movie, Bridesmaids but I didn't care because I love that movie.

I also loved Nell's relationship with her family especially her father and that bit towards the end scared me to bits. There were some awkward conversations at the beginning with her mother as expected because her mum was still holding out hope for Nell to patch things up with her fiancée. It was all believable and I loved how it all came to be.

I am not sure if my words are doing justice to how much I loved this book but I loved this book and everything about it. I think we need more of these kinds of books. I felt so many different emotions on each page like I laughed, cried (actual tears), felt sad, felt annoyed and related that I feel such a mess writing this review. My emotions are all over the place. I wanted to read it quickly and at the same time didn't want to finish it.

It's gone on my all time fav book shelf and I am grateful for:
1. This book.
2. All the plans that were laid out once but didn't actually happen.
3. Nell.
4. Family.
5. Friends that I used to have but don't have anymore and didn't even think about them for years until today and all I remember is all the fun that we used to have and nothing else.
6. That podcast that's really inspired me.
7. Did I mention this book?

Thank you Alexandra Potter.

5 full stars

I LOVED Nell, but can we have a full series dedicated to Cricket! I hope I'm half as awesome in my 80s.

This one was relatable, hilarious, and also too realistic sometimes.

I laughed, cringed, commiserated, cheered, and emphasized.

At the end of all of these books, there is still someone for the MC. Maybe that can be my one day.

An excellent time.

So many wonderful moments and one-liners.

Solid 5 Stars.

Cu siguranță cartea mea preferată în 2020 și, așa cum mi se întâmplă adesea cu privire la cărțile preferate, îmi vine greu sa găsesc cuvintele potrivite pentru a identifica ce anume m-a impresionat așa de mult. Mi-a plăcut ideea că viața nu este niciodată perfectă așa cum pare de pe rețelele de socializare, indiferent că ești single, căsătorită, cu copii, stay at home mom, cu o carieră de succes sau muncind te miri ce pentru a-ți plăti chiria.

Că fericirea nu e ceva ce îți dau alții, că îți poți îndeplini obiectivele din tinerețe (soț, casă ca în reviste și copii la școli private) și tot sa nu fii fericită. Că societatea îți impune un anume model chiar dacă nu ți se potrivește și, de-a lungul timpului, te face să te îndoiești de tot ce crezi tu că ai realizat. Că trăim într-o cultură în care a fi ocupat e un modus vivendi, suntem mereu așa de ocupați ca nu mai avem timp de prieteni, de întâlniri, de comunicat real cu oamenii, comunicare înlocuită cu mesajele pe whatsapp (la un moment dat Nell își sună o prietenă sa refuze o invitație pentru că i s-a părut aiurea sa refuze prin mesaj și prietena o întreabă dacă a sunat din greșeală).

Că cel mai important lucru este sănătatea și viața și că nu-ți dai seama de asta până nu ești pe punctul de a le pierde. Că în ciuda faptului că în jurul tău se petrec tragedii, care te emoționează, tot e ok sa te văicărești și să fii nemulțumit de neplăcerile mărunte din viața ta, pentru că așa e firea umană.

Deși cartea urmează un an din viața lui Nell, proaspăt despărțită de logodnic, fără copii, fără job, fără casă, recent mutată înapoi din însorita California în ploioasa Londra, cartea e mai puțin despre ea si mai mult despre presiunea socială care apasă viața unei femei trecută de 40 de ani, presiunea de a fi sau macar de a părea perfectă. Probabil că de aceea podcastul lui Nell, care spune lucrurilor pe nume, are un asem*nea succes: pentru că femeile se regăsesc în cuvintele lui Nell despre cum ai tendința de a trage linie și de a calcula doar eșecurile, despre cum te compari mereu cu alții și ieși în dezavantaj, despre faptul că uneori n-ai chef de avocado și yoga ci de băut gin tonic la doză și de stat în pat, și despre cum te întrebi mereu: eu ce naiba fac cu viața mea?

Pentru că, din postura ei de ”fată bătrână”, Nell își invidiază toate prietenele măritate și cu copii, cu case aranjate ca în reviste, cu petreceri elegante și cu vieți care par mai așezate decât ale ei, însă podcastul ei scoate la iveală faptul că, dedesubtul strălucirii, se ascund aceleași îndoieli, anxietăți, depresii, sentimente de ”nu sunt suficient de bună”, ca și în cazul lui Nell.

Nell e amuzantă nu pentru că se pune singură în situații stânjenitoare (și chiar mi-a plăcut asta, faptul că lipsesc situațiile a la Stan și Bran care abundă în Bridget Jones, de ex), ci pentru că știe să mânuiască excelent o unealtă salvatoare: autoironia.

Cred că o să păstrez cartea asta și o s-o mai recitesc, pe măsură ce înaintez în vârstă și am momente când simt că nu mă pliez pe cerințele societății și social media de la mine. E o carte care m-a dus cu gândul la Bridget Jones, dar mi s-a parut mult mai bună, iar protagonista mai autentică.

Man gan vēl ir tikai trīsdesmit ar kaut ko, bet kā f**k up (neveiksminiece būtu adekvāts latviskojums?) esmu sajutusies ne reizi vien. Savā ziņā šī grāmata ir kā slavenā Amerikas Fereras tēla runa no filmas " Bārbija" par to, kādas ir sabiedrības (un tevis pašas) ekspektācijas un cik reizēm sāpīgi ir tām neatbilst. Jā, šis ir vieglais gabals, un sižets ir pozitīvs un paredzams, bet es tiešām pāris reizes iesmējos un sirds sažņaudzās vienubrīd, bet izrādījās, ka autore izvēlējās iet gludāko ceļu. Tiešām jauka grāmata, kas atgādina visiem zināmo, ka visiem mēdz sāpēt un tas, ka dzīve neizklāj paklāju uz tevis gribētās takas ir tikai normāli.

*https://mrsbbookreviews.wordpress.com

Hi and welcome to Confessions of a Forty-Something F##k Up, the podcast for any woman who wonders how the hell she got here, and why life isn’t quite how she imagined it was going to be.’

Romantic comedy novelist Alexandra Potter returns with a brand new sharp, in touch and genuine novel in Confessions of a Forty Something. Following the poignant and relatable journey of a lead that you just can’t help but root for, we bear witness to Nell Stevens’ disaster movie of a life. As Nell strives to gain control of her career, finances, love life and friendships, plenty of laughs and moments of clarity come to light in this wholly enjoyable contemporary fiction title.

Facing a downward spiral all too quickly, Nell Stevens must deal with the demise of business, her impending marriage and the loss of her life in sunny California. Back home in the UK, Nell is flat broke, a newly single woman and homeless. Worse still, all Nell’s friends seem to have moved on and settled down into marriage and motherhood. Nell feels left behind and drastic measures see her taking up residence in a small flat in a shared house arrangement. Nell’s life feels like it is going absolutely nowhere fast and the perfect social media feeds she follows makes her feel even worse. But things slowly begin to look up for Nell, who is determined to gain the upper hand over her changed life arrangements. Nell begins a new job and she becomes acquainted with the enigmatic Cricket, an eighty year old with an infectious zest for life. Despite their age difference, Cricket and Nell bond over their shared loss. This brings about a solid form of support and friendship, along with some interesting outings! Nell begins to see that her life isn’t so bad at all, in fact, she might even be a successful forty something!

Well, what a sheer surprise this book turned out to be! It just goes to show that sometimes you should not judge a book by its genre classification. I haven’t read an Alexandra Potter book before, but I was aware of her writing. I boxed Potter in the chick lit category and my not so wonderful experiences of this genre of late immediately had me offside. But I decided to give Confessions of a Forty Something the benefit of the doubt and I started to read the Prologue. The opener was definitely readable and worth continuing and I finished the book with a big smile on my face!

Confessions of a Forty Something has a great structure. The novel follows a year in the life of Nell Stevens. The book is divided in terms of months of the year and significant moments in time in Nell’s life, such as New Year’s Day, Sunday Lunch, Easter Monday, Mothers Day and so on. I really enjoyed this format and I think it worked well to situate the reader in the unfolding story. Interspersed between the narrative are references to Nell’s entertaining podcast, along with her notebook entries on what she is grateful for each day. There are also snippets of conversations via communication channels such as Whats App. I found these inclusions funny, authentic and enlightening.

Nell is a truly wonderful lead and I genuinely enjoyed following her life story. It was great to oversee Nell’s ups and downs, which was very true to life. I despaired with Nell as she dealt with a number of common problems faced by forty somethings, there were funny moments, but also areas of pure understanding. Nell is loveable, well-drawn, relatable and a little flawed. I could sympathise with Nell’s lack of confidence and sheer dissatisfaction with the direction of her life. It is easy to feel sorry for Nell, but at the same time we want her to develop some resilience and inner strength to rise above it all.

Alexandra Potter is an experienced novelist of over eleven romantic comedy titles. I think this shows in her writing and this particular novel. Potter does a good job with the love story aspect of her new novel. We see a possible love interest develop through friendship and support, we cringe as Nell is taken for a ride with a poor love match and our hearts break as she works to understand what went wrong with fiance. Alongside the love story is the wonderful unlikely friendship that sparks between Nell and Cricket, an elderly lady who is just a marvelous character! If only we had more Cricket’s in our life to guide us! Potter also explores some family dynamics as Nell must deal with a crisis that hits close to home. This was carefully handled by the author, again linking in to the overall message that this book seems to convey we must embrace life and do with it what we can, with what we have.

A life affirming, insightful, savvy and meaningful contemporary fiction piece, I am very happy to send my full recommendation to Confessions of a Forty Something by Alexandra Potter.

*I wish to thank Pan Macmillan for providing me with a free copy of this book for review purposes.

Thank you to NetGalley and Pan Macmillan for sending me an eARC of this book.

I actually read the first look of this over on Readers First and thought it was such an uplifting and fun book; and I felt that way for perhaps the first half, but then i just began to feel very cliche and the ending was just really disappointing for me. I thought this was going to be a story about her finding herself and I was hoping the ending would follow suit but then it just felt like such a let-down for me.

I wish this was more focused on the podcasts and what she actually says on them; we are told that she's getting these insane amount of followers but it's barely mentioned apart from as an anecdote and just doesn't feel well thought out. The rivalry between her and Annabel again just felt so cliche and so unnecessary in this book.

I feel like this book could have been so well done because there were some really good moments and i like the message that we're all told we're f*ck ups and we're not, I just wish it came across more in the whole book.

Have you ever read a book where things happen, but nothing happens? Or a book that a lot is happening but it is all over the place? That’s how I felt about this book. There are a lot of things I could say, but alas, I do not have the energy. What started out as a promising book, ended with more frustrations for me than not. As a “forty-something” (aka forty year old) woman who often asks, “WTF am I doing?” I could relate to a lot of the main character’s thoughts (is it bad that I don’t remember her name?); however that is not enough for me to give this book more than two stars. I appreciate what the author was trying to accomplish, but in the end, it just wasn’t for me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Viena iš tų knygų, kur atrodo, skaitai ir visai mėgaujiesi, bet vis nepalieka jausmas, kad vien to negana. Pradėjau šį romaną gana gerai suvokdama, ko tikėtis – viršelis žada šiuolaikinę Bridžitą Džouns, pats pavadinimas imponuoja „netipinės“ moters gyvenimo istoriją su šlakeliu humoro. Visa tai gavau, bet skaitant neapleido mintis, kad jau skaičiau tai kažkur kitur. Nors ir nesu keturiasdešimtmetė, visgi turiu nemažai panašių baimių kaip knygos herojė, o ir bendras visuomenės požiūris į moteris puikiai suprantamas nepaisant amžiaus, todėl problema nebuvo, kad negalėjau susitapatinti, veikiau kad neišgirdau nieko naujo, ko nebūtų pasakiusios panašaus tipo knygos, kurias esu skaičiusi. Norėjosi kitokios perspektyvos, šviežio žvilgsnio ar požiūrio taško, ypač turint omeny, kad knyga parašyta vos prieš tris metus, o pasaulis taip greitai keičiasi.

Vėlgi, suvokiu, kad gal ne man kalbėti, bet skaitant erzino pastovus pagrindinės veikėjos požiūris į savo išvaizdą. Ne kartą kartojama, kaip ji pastebi visas savo raukšleles, senstantį kūną ir visus kitus trūkumus, ir galbūt taip mąsto daugelis keturiasdešimtmečių, bet man šalia vartoti žodžius „sena“, „viskas jau prarasta“ ir „keturiasdešimties metų“ kažkaip sunkiai apsiverčia liežuvis. Galbūt aš taip optimistiškai tikiuosi, kad požiūris į panašius dalykus keičiasi. O ir apskritai, pagrindinė veikėja pasirodė šiek tiek be asmenybės – ji visiems paslaugi, gera ir atlaidi, taip, turinti tam tikrų savo keistenybių, bet jos pakankamai švelnios, o daugiau... daugiau joje nieko ir neatradau. Įdomesni pasirodė veikėjai aplink ją, nors ir čia be galo daug klišių – šeimas sukūrusios, bet visos savaip nelaimingos draugės, geriausia draugė, kurią nori pasiglemžti kita draugė, atitolę jų vyrai... Manau suprantat, ką turiu omeny, kai sakau, kad viskas jau girdėta. Todėl nors ir nesikankinau ir visai džiaugiuosi perskaičiusi, nes ir juokiausi, ir pritariamai linksėjau, turbūt būčiau tokia knyga labiau pasimėgavusi prieš kokius du-tris metus, kai nebuvau skaičiusi jos pradininkių.

! This was hilarious - laugh out loud witty but also very relatable. It’s a blend of self help and fiction that came out really well. If you’ve ever felt like your life wasn’t in line with the plans you had for yourself ( who hasnt?) You will relate to this book. Highly recommend not just for forty something years old but for women of all ages

I absolutely LOVED this book. I’m struggling to find the words to do it justice but it was honestly just perfect. I loved Nell and I loved her take on the world. Cricket and Nell’s relationship was such a joyful one to read. Cricket was an absolute tonic. One of my favourite chapters of the book was ‘It’s Complicated’, I felt that the author perfectly described how so many people feel about the world that we live in.
This book felt like such a true representation and depiction of life for so many women of all ages. I’m 25 and I felt like I related to it so much. It was funny, witty, honest, deep, and soul baringly real. An amazing book to start the month with!

Life is rarely a straight line, and as the saying goes, 'Life is not a puzzle to be solved, but a dance to be danced’. That's certainly the case for our forty-something protagonist, Nell, and we have a front-row seat to her grand rhapsody.

At face value, this book might seem like a midlife crisis diary, but Alexandra Potter dishes out a narrative that's as delightful as it is insightful. Nell's journey from sunny California back to the drizzling streets of London after her business and relationship crash faster than a poor Wi-Fi connection is equal parts hilarious and heart-tugging.

It's not just about returning to the 'adulting' arena after a colossal fumble; it's about coming to terms with the reality that sometimes life's GPS loses signal. Even in the middle of London.

One of the highlights is Nell's unexpected friendship with Cricket, an octogenarian with as much sass as wisdom. Through their eyes, Potter magically presents a multi-generational reflection on life, loss, and the laughs in between.

Interestingly, despite its title suggesting a niche appeal, readers across the board can resonate with this book. Whether you're in your twenties thinking, "Is this my future?" or cruising through your forties murmuring, "Been there, done that," there's a slice of life in here for everyone.

As a self-proclaimed 30-something f**k up myself, I found solace in Nell's tale. It's like the universe saying, "Hey, everyone's making it up as they go along!" Even if we've heard it all before, sometimes, the comfort lies in the repetition. And when it’s presented in a chick lit that feels like a delightful mix of rom-com and self-help book? Well, pass the popcorn (and maybe the tissues, just in case).

I won’t lie; there were moments I thought, ‘Is this story ever going to end?’ But those short, snappy chapters? They were like little pit stops in a marathon, ensuring I was well-fed with light humor and hope as I journeyed through.

This isn't just a book; it's a reminder that it's okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to compare our lives to others and then laugh it off with a glass of wine (or two). And if you ever need to be reminded that life isn't always Instagram-perfect, then this book is your go-to filter.

3.5 and a sprinkle of a star out of 5 – for all of us f**k ups out there, no matter the age.

Cartea aceasta primește cinci stele pentru cum m-a făcut să mă simt în ultimele câteva zile de când o citesc. Atât de real și autentic este construit acest personaj, Nell, încât nu ai cum să n-o îndrăgești pe loc sau să nu te identifici cu ea în cel puțin un moment fie că ai 20 sau te apropii sau ai depășit 40 sau 80 și așa mai departe. Îmi întărește și mai tare ideea nu că viața nu e perfectă ci că există infinite feluri de perfecțiuni ale vieții, că fiecare dintre noi are și bucurii și greutăți și dureri și momente în care suntem mai sus sau mai jos în viața personală sau profesională sau amândouă. Și că poți fi fericită și mâncând avocado și sport pe pâine (ok, fără pâine) dar și pufuleți cu brânză și ciocolată și să te simți bine in pielea ta chiar dacă nu te mai încap aceleași haine. Sigur, pe măsură ce mă apropii și eu de 40, o să mai am nevoie să o recitesc pe Nell și să-mi amintesc de prietena ei simpatică Cricket care îți arată că există viață în tine și la 80 și ceva de ani. Cred că ne mai aduce aminte cartea asta să fim mai blânzi cu noi și cu ceilalți, să fim mai curajoși dar să ne dăm voie să nu ne judecăm prea tare dacă nu suntem. Pentru mine o carte e de 5 stele dacă mi-e dor de ea și de personajele principale și nu mă dau dusă la culcare ca să mai stau puțin cu ele. :)

August 2023
Enjoyed this just as much second time around!

January 2021
This was fantastic I loved every single minute of this audiobook!
I do enjoy a good contemporary romance so when I read Jo @ Over The Rainbow Book Blog’s review I was very tempted. Then when I saw a fab interview with the author on Instagram I gave in and used my audible credit on it.
I loved Nell straight away and felt part of her story right from the first chapter. I sympathised and empathised with her, all the away through the book. I loved her friendships with Cricket, Fiona and Arthur and I got so caught up in her life that I was telling my husband about her antics as if she was a real person. Her honestly was so refreshing and so welcome in this era of Instagram filters and hashtags!
Sally Philipps narration was absolutely perfect! Her voice was so easy to listen to and she made me laugh so much especially when Nell was being snarky or sarcastic. She made the book a real joy to listen to and she has definitely been added to on my favorite narrators list!

This is a new favourite and one I could definitely listen to again as it made me smile so much. Alexandra Potter has created a wonderful character in Nell Stevens someone women of any age can identify with.

If you enjoy contemporary fiction you will love this on audio.

O carte amuzanta, pozitiva si desi pe alocuri mesajele sunt cliseice, tonul si povestea le fac sa nu fie deranjante. Recomand cartea oricui trece printr-o pasa proasta, chiar daca nu a trecut de 40 de ani.

I just loved this. It really could have been written about me 🤣🤣

Keď vám skrachuje vztah aj biznis, je to zlé. O to horšie, ak máte po štyridsiatke.
Keď sa Nell Stevensovej rozpadne dlhoročný vzťah, presťahuje sa zo slnečnej Kalifornie späť do rodného Anglicka, aby začala odznova. Od jej odchodu sa však veľa zmenilo. Kým všetky jej priatešky sú vydaté a zaneprázdnené materskými povinnosťami, ona si hľadá podnájom, prácu a nového partnera. Svet dokonalých životov na sociálnych sieťach v nej vyvoláva pocity ešte väčšej mizérie a osamelosti. Pred depresiou ju chráni len jej jedinecný zmysel pre humor a sebairóniu.
Priznania štyridsiatničky,
ktoré vás rozosmejú aj dojmú zároveň.
A čo je najdôležitejšie, pripomenú vám,
že nie ste samy, pretože
#smevtomspolu.

Takže takto… áno, sú tu pasáže, ktoré sú úsmevné, sú tu aj pasáže dojemné, je tu niekoľko scén, ktoré stoja za spomenutie (viď nižsie) ale sú tu aj časti, ktoré sú stereotypné. A nie teraz nemusíme rozoberať, že tento žáner nevyhľadávam. Sú knihy, ktoré zaujmú a sú knihy, ktoré aj napriek ospevovaniu s vami nerezonujú… a život je predsa len kus krátky na čítanie niečoho čo vás nezaujíma či nebaví.

V tomto prípade, téma veľmi aktuálna a rezonujúca (len teda mi chýbajú kamošky žijúce v okolí Koliby a Slavína, ale tak neprší tu tak často… všetko má svoje plus i mínus). Príbeh je písaný zrozumiteľne a bez okľúk, venuje sa všetkým témam (aj ekológii i sexu, pre krátky prehľad). Veľa deja je v dialógoch a nesnaží sa podriemkávať pri okraji. Výborné je delenie po mesiacoch v roku a tak hneď vieme, že je to jeden rok v živote našej hlavnej hrdinky. Áno, je nešťastná a stratená, ale počas roka objavuje aj pozitívne veci a zisťuje, že život sa nezastavil, tak prečo by mala ona? Neviem či by som rovno povedala, že má jedinecný zmysel pre humor či sebairóniu, ale tak uznávam, že 4 roky v Británii ma poznačili a tak je to asi skreslené. Proste mi to príde len veľmi britské so “vším šudy”. Aj čaj o piatej, aj nedeľné futbalové zápasy, vianočné panto… no proste istá nostalgia sála z každej stránky :)

Najlepšou postavou knihy však nie je hlavná hrdinka, ale Cricket, s ktorou sa zoznámi počas robenia rozhovoru. Prečo? Lebo táto čiperná 80-ročná dáma to má upratané (a je teda taký znalý radca pre mladšiu ženu)… áno, prišla o manžela a trpí tým, ale vie, že život treba aj trochu žiť aby mal zmysel..

“Ak existuje nejaká metafora vzťahujúca na môj život, toto je ona. Som vonku a pozerám na všetkých ostatných, čo sú vnútri. Všade okolo mňa sú útulné scénky z domáckeho života. Strasie ma. Stiahnem si vlnenú čiapku na uši. Som doslova a do písmena vykázaná von, vystavená napospas chladu.
No predsa...
V rámci úprimnosti by som sa mala k čomusi priznať. Hoci po všetkých týchto veciach túžim, moje druhé ja sa ich desí. Mám na mysli tú časť mojej osobnosti, čo sa v denníkoch zaprisahávala, že nikdy neskončí ako moji rodičia. Čítala tajne pod perinou knihy, svietiac si baterkou, a snívala o vášnivých romanciach a cestovaní do ďalekých krajín. Bola odhodlaná žiť neobyčajne, dobrodružne, slobodne, vzrušujúco, inak…”

Povedala to tak láskavo, až som sa takmer rozplakala Celý čas som to v sebe potláčala, snažila som sa tváriť statočne, dokonca to odľahčovať a žartovať. Bol to totiž jediný spôsob, ako sa citovo nezrútiť. Našťastie sa nepýtala na ďalšie detaily a ja som nemusela zachádzať do podrobností. Stačilo povedať toľko, že som sa nedávno rozišla s americkým snúbencom a vrátila sa Londýna, kde chcem začal odznova.
,,A čerešničkou na torte je, že mám cez štyridsať."
,,No a? Ja mám cez osemdesiat."
Musela som sa rozosmiať. Napriek všetkému. „Netrápte sa tým, že starnete. Dôležité je, aby s vami nebola nuda."
Myslím, že Cricket to určite nehrozí.
,,Na starobe je smutné len to, že strácate priateľov a ľudí ktorých máte rada," pokračovala. Všetci naokolo vás umierajú, jeden po druhom. Prísť o Montyho nie je ľahké, ale veľkú časť života som prežila prv, ako sme sa s nim sme sa spoznali, bol workoholik a často pracovne preč. Som zvyknutá na jeho neprítomnosť... No prísť o kamarátky bolo v mnohých ohľadoch oveľa ťažšie, ako prísť oňho..

"Duchov a tiene netreba zamiesť pod koberec," prízvukuje mi, "ale poriadne si na nich posvietiť. Nesmiete žiť v minulosti."

"Niekedy rozmýšľm nad tým, či to nie je takto lepšie. Skúsila som a zlyhala. Možno som to niekde hlboko vlastne ani nechcela. Ako ste povedali, nie každá žena chce deti."
"To je pravda," ozve sa po dlhom mlčaní Cricket. "No hovoríte to naozaj vy? Alebo to z vás hovorí žiaľ?"
"Neviem." Krútim hlavou.
"To je v poriadku," povie tichučko. "Mám osemdesiatjeden rokov a za ten dlhý čas, čo som na tejto zemi, som prišla na jedno: ak si v živote naozaj zaslúžite, je to sloboda a odvaha povedat neviem. Poviem vám jedno veľké tajomstvo. Nemusíte vždy všetko vedieť. Nemusíte vedieť, ako sa cítite, prešo sa cítite tak ako sa cítitie, nemusíte vedieť, čo chcete, či ste šťastná alebo nešťastná. Život je plný križovatiek, alternatív a rozhodnutí, a vyvíja sa na nás veľkž nátlak, aby sme robili tie správne. Ale, čo ak to neurobíme? Čo ak váhame, máme pochybnosti? Čo ak urobíme chybu alebo si protirečíme?"

Výborné sú aj pasáže kde sa rozoberá postavenie ženy a tlak spoločnosti na to, aby žena plnila rolu matky lebo to by mala byť jej “najvyššia ašpirácia”. Je zaujímavé všimnúť si takéto pasáže v knihe, kde to proste nečakám :)

... nechce byť ženou, ktorej ušiel čas. Chcete byť ženou, ktorá rozhoduje. Sedieť kdesi na hranici je v poriadku. Ale čo sa stane, keď vám tú hranicu vezmú spod nôh? S radosťou vykročíte do neznáma, alebo padnete na nos?
Nuž neviem, ale som si istá, že o tom už bol napísaný článok. Lebo pokiaľ ide o záležitosti spojené s rodením detí, všetci sú odborníci. Ani nespočítam články, ktoré som prečítala o trampotách násťročných/slobodných/starších matiek. Na jednej strane "experti" varujúci, aby sme sa príliš nesústreďovali na kariéru a našli si čas založiť si rodinu, na druhej strane pranierujeme slobodné matky na sociálnych dávkach.
Na materstvo má názor každý. Keď sa nad tým zamyslíte, je naozaj zvláštne, že si to my, ženy, necháme. Roky nás presviedčali, že na tridsiate piate narodeniny ženská plodnosť vyletí von komínom, a ak sa dá veriť všetkému, čo sa píše, v päťdesiatke sa máme tešiť z nevďačných tínedžerov alebo začať gúgliť darcovstvo vajíčok.
Nemôžem sa dočkať.
Muži si medzitým môžu začať kupovať športové autá a kožené bundy.
Som z toho taká frustrovaná, že sa rozhodnem tejto téme venovať ďalšiu epizódu môjho podcastu.

Záver? Ak máte radi britský zmysel pre humor, tak túto knihu viete oceniť. Ak ste v podobnej situácii, tak sa vám kúsok uľaví. Ak nie ste, tak sa možno zsmejete nad tým, čo všetko vlastne tá Nell vyvádza. A ak len potrebujete oddych medzi 2 hrubými klasickými dielami, tak si pokojne vezmite práve túto. Stránky sa rýchlo obracajú a dej plynie.
Na rozlúčku posielam 4 pradúce super mačky-matky rodu a záverečné slovo odovzdám Nell, teda jej zhrnutiu toho podstatného: Toto som sa naučila od Cricket:

Nedovolte perfekcionizmu, aby bol nepriateľom dobrého.

Netreba sa báť riskovat,

Štyridsiatničky sú v očiach osemdesiatničiek velmi mladé.

Vaše staré dobré časy zažívate práve teraz.

Väčšina ľudí je dobrých, i keď z televíznych správ sa dozvedáme len o tých zlých.

Ak ti topánky nie sú pohodlné v obchode, nikdy ti nebudú pohodlné.

Pokiaľ ide o peniaze, stačí plánovať šesť mesiacov dopredu - o mesiac dlhšie a budeš v panike, o mesiac kratšie a kúpiš si tie nemožné šaty, ktoré si nikdy neoblečieš.

Reakcia človeka na pokutu za parkovanie, stúpnutie do psieho hovna, meškajúci vlak a umierajúcu včielku vám o ňom veľa prezradí. Aj to, ako niekto manévruje s nákupným košíkom v supermarkete.

Gumené rukavice a odhodlanie vyriešia všetko. •

Buď, kým len chceš, len nikdy nebud nudná.

Najdi si svojich ľudí.

Nikdy nevstúp do spolku belasých trvalých.

Niektoré veci sú nerozmotateľné.

Netráp o sa, či ťa majú ľudia radi. Mať rada samu seba je oveľa dôležitejšie.

Nikdy nemáš dosť klobúkov a čiapok.

Pokojne vypi celú fľašu červeného.

Priatelia sú rodina.

Tie nápadné a ťažké náušnice skôr či neskôr oľutuješ.

Aj tak nikdy nevieš, čo vlastne robíš, takže rob, čo chceš.

Natáčaj si videá ľudí, ktorých miluješ.

Najlepším receptom ako nestarnúť, je prestať sa pozerať do zrkadla.

Na celulitídu a vrásky ešte nikto neumrel.

Knihu nikdy nevlastníš, len ju opatruješ, kým ju posunieš ďalšiemu človeku.

Ten istý príbeh vníma každý inak.

Daj sa nahovoriť úplne na všetko, okrem stand-up komédie.

Starnutie nie je pre slabé nátury. Maj v úcte a pozdrav každého - od pokladničky po šoféra autobusu a baristu, čo vám servíruje kávu.

Čo ta nezabije, to ťa posilní.

Výhľad zvonku je krásny.

Všetkému venuj extra päť minút (zvlášť odkladaniu vianočných svetielok).

Vždy si kúp väčšie číslo.

Život sa dá žiť mnohými spôsobmi.

Žiaden krém na svete ťa nezbaví vrások (oveľa lepšie urobíš, ak si kúpiš klobúk).

Dobrodružstvá nemajú vekový limit.

Nie si príliš stará, nie je príliš neskoro, a áno, môžeš!

Prvá veta: #neviemčosipočaťsoživotom Do čerta, ako ten čas letí!
Posledná veta: Oprava: Po odovzdaní do tlače bolo potvrdené, že uvedená štyridsiatnička nie je mŕtva, ako sa chybne uvádzalo, ale v skutočnosti si veselo užíva svoj posratý život. Úprimne sa ospravedlňujeme všetkým zainteresovaným a dotknutým.

Goodreads Challenge 2021: 23.kniha

5 ⭐️s I loved this so much. Truly one of the easiest, most enjoyable and entertaining books I have ever read.

After a failed business and a failed engagement, Nell Steven’s leaves California and moves back to the UK to start over. When she returns to London and connects with people from her old life she quickly realises that she is a 40 something f*ck up. Being husbandless, childless, living in a rented room & writing obituaries for a living Nell feels like her friends are living 40 the “right way”.

Confessions of a forty something f*ck follows Nell over a 12 month period as she comes to terms with her new way of living. Along the way Nell makes the unlikeliest of friends, enemies and … relations (wink wink). Despite having so many people around her though, Nell feels like nobody can relate to her and so she begins a podcast broadcasting her life as 40 year old woman trying to figure her sh*t out.

Her podcast goes viral, and Nell quickly realises that she is in fact more relatable than she thought. She finds that even her friends whose lives are seemingly in tact, are not living the fairytale dream.

A contemporary “Bridget Jones” style story that’ll you’ll be forced to relate to regardless of what age you are. You’ll definitely laugh, you might cry, but mostly you’ll realise that “life f*cking sucks.”